I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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