I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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