the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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