I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
