How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
