I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
