Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
