The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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