Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
