It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i think my cat just said my name.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm too high and old for this...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
