im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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