no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
