even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
