Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so that wasnt chicken after all
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
