She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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