I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
