Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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