Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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