laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
