last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
