I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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