Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
