I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
