Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
