I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
