forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize