just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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