Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
