worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
