I'm lost and stupid without you.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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