When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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