Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
