plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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