I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
