I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
