This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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