fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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