If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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