I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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