It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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