It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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