just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
