twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
