You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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