So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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