are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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