i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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