The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
