We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
