her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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