I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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