i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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