Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
