so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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