Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize