Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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