i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
