we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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