real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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