as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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