I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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