Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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