would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
the raccoons are back...
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