FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
